Serious Style: The Confidence Game

If you recall March's Editor's Letter, Joel Osteen was one of my main sources of inspiration for the theme, "Looking for Yourself". An insightful piece of wisdom I always keep in my mind now is that you cannot focus on the mediocracy of your life, and expect abundance to come your way. In my fashion, one must always think "attitude before aptitude". One's attitude is an indgrediant to style that steers us towards certain positive or negative opportunities. A confident attitude attracts good fortune. Skimming an old September issue of O Magazine from 2011, I came across the article, "The Confidence Game" by Siri Carpenter.

"The Confidence Game" in O Magazine, September 2011

Some examples of the physical changes we make to our bodies that affect our behavior include:

• When you reach upward, its easier to recall happy memories, while reaching down draws negative memories to mind.
• Holding a warm cup of coffee makes us feel more warmly toward others.
• Reclining - a position that physically stifles a "fight or flight" reaction - helps us temper angry emotions.
• Even fleeting changes in our own facial expressions - some so subtle they're detectable only by recording the electrical impulses in muscle cells - provide crucial feedback (a study found that subjects who recieved Botox treatments that blocked their ability to mimic emotional expressions were subsequently poorer at recognizing other's emotions.)

"THE FACT THAT SIMPLE POSES CAN HAVE SUCH AN IMPACT IS EXTRAORDINARY," SAYS CARNEY, NOW A PROFESSOR IN THE BUSINESS SCHOOL AT THE UNIVERSITY OF CALIFORNIA BERKELEY. "THEY APPEAR TO FLIP SOME INTERNAL SWITCH, MAKING THE WORLD SEEM BETTER, BRIGHTER, EASIER." ALTHOUGH RESEARCHERS DON'T FULLY UNDERSTAND THE PSYCHOLOGICAL AND BIOLOGICAL PROCESSES AT WORK, WHAT'S CLEAR, SHE SAYS, IS THAT THE CHANGES ARE INTERNAL. "IT SEEMS TO BE ABOUT HOW YOU PRESENT YOURSELF TO OTHERS. BUT ITS REALLY ABOUT WHAT'S GOING ON INSIDE YOU."

It turns out that in the "body language of power", when people strike a "power pose", they precieve themselves as being physically stronger and taller than they really are. In other words, if we percieve ourselves as powerful, so will others. In my fashion, confidence is what makes us all most attractive. If you aren't feeling confident, maybe a change in posture will alter your mood. Read on, after the jump, to learn about how pyshcologist, Deborah Gruenfeld, PhD, teaches how by maintaining the full range of nonverbal language, one will automatically approach situations with a flexible mix of confidence and humility.

READing Your Style: Don't Think. Just "Blink."

Remember in my August Letter From the Editor when I mentioned how one of my favorite books, "Blink." by Malcolm Gladwell helped me to understand the power of 'thinking without thinking'? As I have done more research on this topic, I found more and more how this inner power is very valuable when one raelly focuses on those unexpected feelings we have about certain things, As promised, I have outlined a few key points from the books 1st chapter which explains the meaning and significance of using our intuition. 

The Adaptive Unconscious: a part of our brain that leaps to conclusions like the above (not to be confused with the ‘unconscious’)

                This new notion is thought of as a kind of giant computer that quickly and quietly processes a lot 

                of data we need in order to keep functioning as human beings.

                               o Think: A car is barreling towards you as you cross a street. Do you have time to 

                                   think of all you options: NO! The adaptive unconscious is capable of making 

                         very quick judgments based on very little information.

                 Psychologist Timothy D. Wilson writes in his book “Strangers to Ourselves”: The mind operates 

                 most efficiently by relegating a good deal of high-level, sophisticated thinking to the unconscious, 

                 just as a modern jetliner is able to fly on automatic pilot with little or no input from the human, 

                 ‘conscious’ pilot. The adaptive unconscious does an excellent job of sizing up the world, warning 

                 people of danger, setting goals, and initiating action in a sophisticated and efficient manner.”

                                o Wilson says we toggle back and forth between the conscious and unconscious modes 

                                    of thinking

*We live in a world that assumes that the quality of a decision is directly related to

the time and effort that went into making it.*

                 We only trust conscious decision making, but “Blink” aims to prove that decisions made     

             quickly can be every bit as good as decisions made cautiously and deliberately.

                  o It also aims to explore when we should trust our instincts, and when we should be wary of
                     them.
                  o Lastly, it aims to show that our snap judgments and first impressions can be controlled.
                  o We can cultivate this ability for ourselves!!!

*Whenever we meet a new person or confront a complex situations or have to make a decision under conditions of stress, Gladwell postulates that, “When it comes to the task of understanding ourselves and our world, I think we pay too much attention to those grand themes, and too little to the particulars of those fleeting moments.” * 

Take this example:

Beautiful Illustrations by Brian Cronin

This was excerpted from the August 2011 issue of O magazine-the focus for that month:Intuition and Instinct. It was funny to me because this very experiment above is brought to our attention in "Blink.". Oprah is always speaking of how trusting her instincts got her to the successes she has made and her August issue offered a more summarized justification to our adaptive unconscious and "The Science of Intuition" (the article even mentions "Blink" as a good source on the subject). 

The three piece feature starts by first explaining that our "gut feeling" is our friend and that we should try to pay attention to that feeling more often. Next it goes into detail about "intuitive counseling" and how to learn to listen to your intuition, and lastly the article highlights how intuitive power is available in everyone by listening to certain cues from our body such as through our eyes, stomach, and nose. Here are the most important bits of information I took away from the feature that might help you on your quest to harness the power of your intuition. 

Go to the following to learn more about Following Your Inner Wisdom