As this holiday season draws to a close, its time to tighten our belts and think about where we a going to do with ourselves in 2013. In my Editor's Letter for December I mentioned that I would return to the PersonalityPage.com and examine our personalities in relation to understanding what's important to us, recognizing our weaknesses without hiding behind them, and striving for balance between the dominant functions of our personalities, and our supporting functions. PersonalityPage.com describes more in depth the process of individuation, the process of consciously realizing our true self, and the individual ways each personality can work towards allowing one's strength to flourish, understanding problem areas associated with our personality type, and solutions to living happily in the world as you are. Below I have provided the "10 Rules to Live By" for each personality type provided by the site, suggestions which might resonate with you if you know what your personality type is. Going into 2013, lets see what happens when we try to abide by these rules for ourselves and explore where our personal style can take us in life. The looks associated below with each personality takes a closer look at those party look ideas from my PersonalityPage.com posts from October, looks that, in my fashion, would be quite adventurous to wear when bringing in a year of new adventures.
Ten Rules to Live By to Achieve ESTP (The Doer) Success
|Son Jung Wan|
1. Feed Your Strengths! Give yourself every opportunity to show your innate skills. If you are not in a relationship or a job which allows this to happen, it might be time to discover ways to change this. Remember, your strengths derive from being able to deal with the world, with situations where getting things done, where opportunities to surmount difficulty exist.
2. Face Your Weaknesses. Try to be straight up with yourself. You have limitations others find as strengths. So what? You don't have to hide behind a curtain of fear just because you have difficulty with feelings or sorting out your inner perceptions. Allow yourself to be who you are and at the same time let others help you be more honest with your limitations.
3. Talk About Your Thoughts. Discussing your ideas and perceptions with others will help you to develop your separate, inner reality, make you a "real" person to them even without all that external activity. How well you use your auxiliary function is very important to your overall health and happiness.
4. Don't Be Afraid to Show Emotion. Your inferior functions want you to be still a child inside, and that makes you run, that makes you want to prove yourself even more. You don't have to prove anything to anyone in this regard. Everyone feel emotion and everyone is a little child inside. Find those people whose eyes tell you that you are not alone, and let them hear your child's voice.
5. Respect Your Need for Action. Understand that you need to be actively working with your environment to be "in the groove" with life. Don't chastise yourself for not being the sort to sit around and read a book or watch a movie. Choose a partner and companions who value active lifestyles, but remember to allow yourself time out to consider how their input into your life will change it. Don't just follow your nose - life is not an endless party or expedition.
6. Recognize the Differences in Others. Realize that everyone is different, not just a little different, but very different. Everyone has their place and value. You need to notice those values and places, places where you cannot easily fit. You can learn from these people, for they have gifts you can use, gifts they offer simply by being who they are. Try figuring out their psychological type for yourself and notice how certain types can lift you out of negative feelings just by being who they are.
7. It's OK to Get Out of your Comfort Zone. Understand that the only way to grow is to get outside of your comfort zone. If you're uncomfortable with an idea or situation because you're not sure how to act, that's good! That's an opportunity for growth.
8. Identify and Express Your Feelings. You may have a hard time figuring out exactly how you feel about someone that you're involved with. It's important that you do figure this out. Don't lead someone on with your ambivalence. If you determine that you value the person, tell them so every time you think of it. This is the best way to make them feel secure in your affections, and so to promote a long-lasting relationship.
9. Be Aware that You can Fail, and that it is OK. Not every mountain can be climbed, not every customer will be satisfied, no matter how hard you try or no matter what tricks you bring to bear. Getting beaten is an opportunity to reflect upon what is important, what really matters in life. Next time you will take up a challenge more worthy of your skills, and more valuable to others. You can be a champion, and it will be at your own game. Try to let it be a game of life, where everyone wins if you do.
10. Assume the Best. Don't distress yourself with fear and dark imaginings. Expect the best, and the best will come.
Ten Rules to Live By to Achieve ESTJ (The Guardian) Success
1. Feed Your Strengths! You have been given the great ability to create logical, ethical principles that transcend personal experience. Allow these principles to be as good as they can be by creating them with consideration for all available data.
2. Face Your Weaknesses! See your weaknesses for what they are, and seek to overcome them. Especially, resist the tendency to judge too quickly, and remember the importance of considering other people's feelings.
3. Talk Through the Facts or write them down. You need to step through the facts in order to define good principles to live by. Verbalizing them or putting them down on paper may be a valuable tool for you.
4. Take in Everything. Don't dismiss ideas prematurely because you think you already know the answer. Seek first to understand, and then to be understood.
5. When You Get Angry, You Lose. Your passion for your principles is admirable, but becomes destructive when you fall into the "Anger Trap." Remember that Anger is destructive to personal relationships, and can be extremely hurtful to others. Work through your anger before you unleash it upon others. Disagreements and disappointments can only be handled effectively in a non-personal and dispassionate manner.
6. Be Yourself in Relationships. Don't expect yourself to be a "touchy-feely" or "warm fuzzy" person. Realize that your most ardent bonds start with the head, rather than the heart. You expect your actions to speak for themselves to your loved ones. This may not be enough for some. Be aware of other's emotional needs, and express your genuine love and respect for them in terms that are real to YOU. Be yourself.
7. Be Accountable for Yourself. Don't blame the problems in your life on other people. Look inwardly for solutions. No one has more control over your life than you have.
8. Be Humble. Judge yourself at least as harshly as you judge others.
9. Resist the Urge to Control Others. You can't force others to adhere to your ways of thinking. You may think that you know what's best for others, but you really only know how they can best act according to your ideas of what is right. Just as you are entitled to live as you see fit, so are they. Instead of judging and controlling others, focus on using your judgement to create better impartial principles.
10. Spend Some Time Alone. Encourage the development of your introverted side. You'll find many tangible benefits to becoming a more well-rounded person.