As this holiday season draws to a close, its time to tighten our belts and think about where we a going to do with ourselves in 2013. In my Editor's Letter for December I mentioned that I would return to the PersonalityPage.com and examine our personalities in relation to understanding what's important to us, recognizing our weaknesses without hiding behind them, and striving for balance between the dominant functions of our personalities, and our supporting functions. PersonalityPage.com describes more in depth the process of individuation, the process of consciously realizing our true self, and the individual ways each personality can work towards allowing one's strength to flourish, understanding problem areas associated with our personality type, and solutions to living happily in the world as you are. Below I have provided the "10 Rules to Live By" for each personality type provided by the site, suggestions which might resonate with you if you know what your personality type is. Going into 2013, lets see what happens when we try to abide by these rules for ourselves and explore where our personal style can take us in life. The looks associated below with each personality takes a closer look at those party look ideas from my PersonalityPage.com posts from October, looks that, in my fashion, would be quite adventurous to wear when bringing in a year of new adventures.
Ten Rules to Live By to Achieve INTJ (The Scientist) Success
1. Feed Your Strengths! Do things that allow your brilliant intuition and logical abilities to flourish. Explore the fascinating worlds of science, mathematics, law and medicine. Give your mind an outlet for its exceptional analytical abilities, and watch them grow.
2. Face Your Weaknesses! See your weaknesses for what they are, and seek to overcome them. Especially, strive to use your judgment against your internal ideas and intuitions, rather than as a means of disregarding other people's ideas.
3. Talk Through Your Thoughts. You need to step through your intuitions in order to put them into perspective. Give yourself time to do this, and take advantage of discussing ideas with others. You'll find externalizing your internal intuitions to be a valuable exercise. If you don't have someone to discuss your ideas with, try expressing your ideas clearly in writing.
4. Take in Everything. Don't dismiss ideas prematurely because you don't respect the person generating the ideas, or because you think you already know it all. After all, everybody has something to offer, and nobody knows everything. Steven Covey says it so well when he says: "Seek first to understand, and then to be understood."
5. When You Get Angry, You Lose. Your passion and intensity are strong assets, but can be very harmful if you allow yourself to fall into the "Anger Trap". Remember that Anger is destructive to your personal relationships. Work through your anger before you impress it upon others, or you will likely find yourself alone. Disagreements and disappointments can only be handled effectively in a non-personal and dispassionate manner.
6. Respect your Need for Intellectual Compatibility. Don't expect yourself to be a "touchy-feely" or "warm-fuzzy" person. Realize that your most ardent bonds with others will start with the head, rather than the heart. Be aware of other's emotional needs, and express your genuine love and respect for them in terms that are real to YOU. Be yourself.
7. Be Accountable for Yourself. Don't blame the problems in your life on other people. Look inwardly for solutions. No one has more control over your life than you have.
8. Be Humble. Judge yourself at least as harshly as you judge others.
9. Assume the Best. Don't distress yourself and others by dwelling on the dark side of everything. Just as there is a positive charge for every negative charge, there is a light side to every dark side. Remember that positive situations are created by positive attitudes. Expect the best, and the best will come forward.
10. Don't Get Isolated! Recognize the value that the external world represents to you, and interact with it in the style that's natural to you. Join clubs and internet e-mail lists that house in-depth discussions of topics that you're interested in. Seek and foster friendships with others of like competence and capacity for understanding. Extravert in your own style.
Ten Rules to Live By to Achieve INTP (The Thinker) Success
1. Feed Your Strengths! Realize your gift at mastering logical problems and situations, and give yourself plenty of opportunities to exercise your abilities. Much of your sense of well-being will come from these experiences.
2. Face Your Weaknesses! We all have weaknesses. Recognizing your weaknesses for what they are (without beating yourself up) will give you the power to change your life for the better.
3. Talk About Your Thoughts. Discussing your ideas and perceptions with others will help you to develop your Extraverted INtuition, and thus your understanding of the world. How well you use your auxiliary function is very important to your overall health and happiness.
4. Listen to Everything. Try not to dismiss anything immediately. Let it soak in, and then apply judgement. Try not to dismiss things that are alogical - they are not illogical.
5. Be Aware of Others. Understand that everyone has their own lives and their own perspectives. Everyone has something to offer. Try to identify people's personality type.
6. Recognize Social Principles. Realize that our society functions around some basic social principles, and that our society would fail unless those principles are recognized and upheld. In a democracy, people vote. At a red stoplight, people stop. If people stopped voting because it wasn't important them, who would be in power? If people stopped stopping at red stop lights because it didn't fit into their plans, how could we drive safely? Your priorities and plans are important, but you must recognize that the external world's agenda is also important. Don't dismiss the importance of principles that don't affect your life directly.
7. Get Out of Your Comfort Zone. Understand that the only way to grow is to get outside of your comfort zone. If you're uncomfortable with an idea or situation because you're not sure how to act, that's good! That's an opportunity for growth.
8. Identify and Express Your Feelings. You may have a hard time understanding how you feel about someone. It's important that you do figure this out. Don't lead someone on with your ambivalence. If you determine that you value the person, tell them so every time you think of it. This is the best way to make them feel secure in your affections, and so to promote a long-lasting relationship.
9. Be Accountable for Yourself. Remember that no one has more control over your life than you have. Don't be a victim.
10. Assume the Best. Don't distress yourself with fear and dark expectations. Remember that a positive attitude often creates positive situations.