Serious Style: Love to Attract

I hope that as you have been reading my posts as of late in which you may have caught the certain links I have shared to a site that, in my fashion, gets down and dirty on how to be truly attractive: LoveToAttract.com. The founder of the blog, Nathan Joseph, provides great insights into love and relationships that may open one's eyes wider as to what we can do better in our relationships to connect with other people and come off as "attractive". As LoveToAttract.com breaks it down, what we find most attractive instinctually are the qualities in a person that would make them great parents and caregivers in a family. Based on evolution, good looks imply fertility, and even if we don't consciously think about fertility when we see someone good looking, our primal ergs for companionship are based off this fact, which is the attraction we feel when we meet certain people that appeal to us. Attraction is based off whether or not it looks as though you and that other person can live a long, healthy life together. We men have to prove that we can do this. Joseph breaks attraction down into two teachings: basic animal attraction, and emotional attraction. "The basic premise of these teachings is that love can be quantified and forced onto someone by changing your actions or social status - triggering the primitive attraction mechanism in the human brain which will make you successful with the people you want to attract... LoveToAttract.com's mission is to learn to how merge these two ideas together in order to master relationships and love." All organisms seek to be as attractive as they can be in regards to their specific species. The basis of attraction is to be able to find a mate to create more beautiful people! Depending on who you aspire to attract, your style should say, "Come hither, I am someone worthwhile!"

In my fashion, I advise men not to turn the other cheek to fashion out fear of a decrease in one's masculinity, because as Fashion Editor for AskMen.com, Sachin Bhola, wrote, "style is transformative and can be your stepping stone to a whole lot more." Everything we do in life is in an effort to become happy, and AskMen.com found in a study that, "We are happy when we have family, we are happy when we have friends and almost all the other things we think make us happy are actually just ways of getting more family and friends." Working to be as attractive as you can be is not so much a frivolous habit if you look at it as though it is necessary to staying on a positive course of life, and giving birth to the genius inside of you. 

Remember impressing a women goes on even after you have bagged her, which is why it is important to stay abreast of trends to help you in your reinvention process, and more importantly to differentiate yourself from the other fish in the sea. In my fashion, the more intriguing you can make yourself, the more people will want to engage in getting to know your unique story. Women love originals, and if you take away a Bit-o-Inspiro from Coco Chanel, "To be irreplaceable, one must always be different." That's why we have fashion, so we can reinvent ourselves in a more unique version of ourselves so we stand out. Look at your style as more of a calling card, than actually getting someone's digits, for in my fashion, once your grab her interest and make her remember you the next time she sees you, you've won half the battle in the fight for attraction. Make her dream about you! And think about it, in this digital media, social networking age of ours, pictures and video are posted up of us all the time onto the internet for anyone in the world to view. Considering this fact, striving to look as "male-modelesque" as possible at all times won't hurt your view count, and likes. Plus with more people using social media as an acceptable dating tool, you would definitely want your style to attract the type of people you are looking for, am I correct? You want people to view your profile, (that's why you have one, right)! In essence, you are inviting others to make assumptions about you based on the way you appear, so wouldn't you want for everyone that sees you to be drawn into finding out more about you? Style is a form of visual storytelling, so find pieces that will tell a great story about yourself. My desire for my male counterparts is to get women to want to get to know your story, and keep reading it by being a part of it. Trigger attraction in a women without them even knowing!

The idea at the end of the day is to appear confident and original! It is the number one rule of attraction, style, fashion, and, in my fashion, life. Find the best way to showcase what in life makes you most confident, for confidence is what will turn a women on the most, and as I've said before, when you look good, you feel good! When a women sees that you feel good, she will feel good. In a relationship, men are the leader in this regard. Having a good sense of fashion is a way to show you have a good grasp of your sense of self,  and that you are aspirational and passionate about life. It shows women how, in our own unique way, you are striving to become an even better version of yourselve everyday.  In my fashion, that is the best way to attract women. Fashion is a great tool because it helps us all to flaunt our confidence in a way that is specific to who we are, and what we intend to do with our lives. Every man has a destiny. Fashion is a way to shows how confident you are in expressing your own version of what it means to be a man, and as the late Martin Luther King, Jr., said, "A man's sense of manhood comes from within." YOU determine how, "manly" you are, because there are many different perceptions of what it means to be a man. Universally, In my fashion, if you are taking care of your responsibilities to the people you care about, in this life, what's more manly than that? 

Joseph's advice is good because it ranges from topics on all aspects of love and attraction including: flirting, flirting online, what turns women and men on, breaking up, and being single. Below are some of the articles from LoveToAttract.com that dissect what men and women find attractive in each other:

Thoughts for MEN

What Attracts Women – The 3 Traits that Trigger Attraction 

Signs of Attraction – What are They? 

How to Approach Women

How to Talk to Girls - The Complete Guide 

How to Flirt on Facebook – 3 Essential Rules 

How to Flirt with a Girl Over Text 

How to Tell if a Girl Likes You – The 5 Sure Signs 

Successful Marriage – The 5 Keys to a Lasting Union 

How to Arouse a Women – The 4 Best Moves 

How to Keep Your Girlfriend – The 25 Rules

How to Make a Move on a Girl 

Ideas for a First Date – The 3 Most Important Factors 

Thoughts for WOMEN

How to Flirt with a Guy Over Text – The 25 Rules 

How to Get a Boyfriend – The 4 Essential Traits 

How to Tell If a Guy Like You – 6 Signs He’s Into You 

How to Find the Man of Your Dreams 

How to Make a Man Fall in Love With You- The Guide 

Five Tips for Finding True Love Online 

What Do Men Want in a Women – 4 Secrets Revealed 

How Do You Get a Man to Love You? – The 5 Steps 

What Is Love? – The Reality of True Love 

Why Won’t He Marry Me Yet? The 5 Reasons 

Will I Ever Find Love? – Five Steps for Finding the One 

Get Over a Break-Up – Five Steps to Moving On

EDITOR'S LETTER: November 2012

Last month, I traveled to home to visit my brother for his birthday. My brother is a sophomore in High School and is a student athlete taking up football, basketball, and track. Me and my brother are seven years apart, and when I look at him I can't help to always remember him as my personal walk by punching bag of a brother. Only difference is, his punches come back just as hard as I throw them and I realize is becoming a man! As I talked with him and catch up on life, there were times when I found myself taking away life lessons from him and gaining strength from his words. I am proud to be able to learn from him because its showing me that he is learning the things that will make him a capable of taking care of himself, which is the one thing I want to not have to worry too much about when he leaves the comfort of our parents home. The video below is one which he shared with me that he gains inspiration and drive from, not just as an athlete, but as a growing young adult. 

In my fashion, some very empowering words were said in this video. "If you want something, work at it!" In my fashion, a man can get anything he wants in life if he can show that he is  "willing to put in the work” and exude effort.  “Effort is what is inside of you!" This month sort of goes back to my posts on Movement, for people who show the most effort, get exactly what they want out of life. Don't be lazy! In my fashion, a man who exudes that he can put forth the effort to contribute to others betterment are the most attractive men on this planet, and is the central quality a man can show to impress a women—and keep her. This month I want men to remember to not be lazy when it comes to creating dynamic looks for yourself day to day. “Its presence and essence that determines respect.”

How to Impress Her

This month I want to explore the crazy world of relationships. In the end, we all want to find that one person we can find companionship with. We as men want to attract to the most “fit” partner to walk with us in this life. This month I will be looking at the laws of attraction, and how we men can do what we can to bring happiness to our women. I found an interesting blog, LovetoAttract.com, which seeks to understand love and relationships. In my fashion its good information if you wish understand yourself further to take a better hold of your love life. This month, I'm talking to the men who are committed  to improving themselves daily; the ones looking for true love and companionship; the ones who want to be the best boyfriend, husband, father, son, and brother to the women in their lives. I do not endorse careless philandering and mistreatment of women, because if the tables were turned, men would not want women to mistreat them in that way either. I am also talking to the men who want to live most usefully on this planet, because to do so, is to live up to your full potential, and what's more fulfilling than “MANifesting Your Destiny”. In my fashion, we were all placed here for a reason, and it’s our duty, especially as men, to be strong enough to live up to our destiny!  Kelly Rowland said it best in her song “Work-It Man” from her most recent album “Here I Am”: Every good women is looking for a “Work-It Man”. Are you a "work-it man"? The one thing to remember this month is to be aware of the fact that the more effort you put into something, most likely, eventually, you will get it. Martin Luther King Jr. quoted, "One's sense of manhood must come from within." As I have found, what we are on the inside tends to reveal its self on the outside through our appearance. Is what you are on the inside attractive?

What Attracts Women?

Style is simply another word for character. Character is what is inside you, and your character determines your integrity. As I have found, if we as men are going to be able to fulfill our roles as men, it is imperative that we focus daily on building on our integrity! Few things on this Earth are more important than integrity, and we should always strive to portray excellence when it comes to our integrity. As I have postulated before on #IMFblog, "Excellence is the result of caring about what you do and putting your very best effort into what you care about," and from what we gather from the video above, "Greatness is a bunch of small things done well, day after day.”  In my fashion, if we men aspire to do great things for ourselves, and to be able to take care of the ones we love, putting in the effort to exude excellence at a viewer's first glance, everyday, will send the message to everyone that you are “available”—available compatibility-wise; available to take on a challenge; available to be a part of something greater than yourself. Fashion is a great vehicle to help one focus on aspiring to be better than you were yesterday.  To MAN-ifest your destiny, be daring in a positive way and insist on living usefully, putting in 100% effort, every day, in all that you do, and that is how I believe we men can reach out true perfection—man or women.

Body language is one important
Signs of Attraction

Of course, a main aspect of attraction has to deal with how we look. Even though fashion is primarily a women’s business, men are proving to be more than accessories to the fact in our modern day. The men’s market has grown quite substantially globally, and this month I will be focusing on what options we men have these days in fashion, especially for this coming spring. The men’s fashion market is booming more than ever before, so allow #IMFblog help you find some uniquely interesting looks to show off your character. Normally, macho men quiver at the thought of the metrosexual mentality, but taking care of ourselves is an important aspect of life, and doesn't have to be seen as "feminist". Maybe you don't want evolve to having to manicure your image all day, but in my fashion, there are ways each of us males can appear as though we deserve to be magazine-worthy at all times. Women judge our style just as much as men fiend and ogle over women.  I want to encourage all men to aspire to look as though they deserve to be cast in a magazine campaign on a daily basis, just as women do for men. Don't be afraid to be a bit more daring and experimental in your look some days, because it can be very enticing and appealing if you are able to pull off an original look with optimism and confidence. Women appreciate a bold man who is content in who he is, what he is doing with his life, where he is going in his life, and that he is fearless as to what others think of him. In my fashion, exuding confidence, optimism, and originality in your dress is the easiest way to increase the chances that women walking past you feel obligated to take a second glance. The second glance is the desired reaction we want from women, for if u can get her attention, you have at least won half the battle. This is what fashion is for!