READing Your Style: Be Who You Are

Be Who You Are by Solange Knowles in EBONY Magazine, October 2012 

I remember the moment vividly: it was fourth-grade project presentation day. Our assignment was to choose a culture we admired and to write an essay saying why. I chose Native Americans and wore a full-on tribal costume I thought would be a nice visual reference to accompany my presentation. But my classmates teased and ridiculed me, and I was an outcast for the rest of the week.

This is just one of the many ways I tried to express myself during my younger days. My parents always dealt with these moments graciously—with love and support. But from a child’s perspective, there’s a strong difference between your parents unending love and acceptance and the love acceptance of other people in the big world.

My teacher, Mrs. Bethan, was there that dreadful day. She pulled me aside, straightened me up and told me she thought my project was brilliant. She also told me that being different was a thing to embrace and celebrate.

It has been a struggle to remember this over the years. Like most teenagers and young adults, I went through many phases to get to the internal confidence I have now. The way I choose to express myself has instigated all kinds of theories, including one that I am just an attention seeker and my “image” is a ploy to separate myself from my family’s success. I always found this type of talk strange , considering you can google my superembarassing 15-year-old suburban vegan Rasta phase, or my early 20s avant-garde, hot mess fashion choices. Believe me: These choices were neither considered popular nor, as far as I’m concerned, “cute”.

The point is, I made—and I make—decisions according to my personal taste and aspirations in those moments. And with each phase I’ve transitioned from, I’ve always carried something that is still very much a part of me today.

A pivotal moment on my journey was when I decided to define success by what made me happiest. I realized my goals and aspirations could be crafted by my own hands. I was reminded then that being fully and wholeheartedly me was being the best me I could be. It’s a 17-year old lesson that I’m still learning.

Check out Solanges’s fashion, travel, and life adventures at mydamnblog.com

READing Your Style: Think Like a Mogul

Everybody wants to be "The Boss", am I right? Nobody wants to be given orders, and tasks, and to be delegated duties because, well, we ourselves want to be the ones to give orders, and tasks and to delegate duties. We all aspire to be "the boss", but how many of us really know what it takes to be an "effective" boss. In my fashion, the road to becoming a "boss" is to first be the boss of yourself. #IMFblog Style Maven, Steve Harvey (in my fashion, a highly esteemed inspiration of a man) broke it down more specifically in the August 2012 issue of Ebony in the article, "Think Like a Mogul". The following lists Harvey's 8 simple principals to success that he has followed in order to reach his current status as a "Boss", on his way towards MANifesting his Destiny:

1) BE THE BEST:"That single thought of wanting to be the best caused me to have to be the best at a lot of things in order to get there: I had to be the best opening act, then the best features act, then the best headliner, then the best guy to promote myself and the best person I could be. There were a lot of trials and tribulations to figure it all out, but all of the success stems from having that one desire to be the best."

2) HAVE AN UNBEATABLE WORK ETHIC: You have to have a work ethic that defies logic. That fear of disappointing your audience drives you to be the best."

3) TAKE CARE OF YOUR TEMPLE: "God has given me a temple, and in this temple, He gave me a gift: the ability to make people laugh. I don't want to do anything to tamper with that gift. I enjoy it too much, and its given me an incredible lifestyle. Its my duty to maintain my temple so that I can keep getting those blessings."

4) BOUNCE BACK FROM FAILURE: "You may fail but, you're not a failure if you're learning. When you learn you grow. That's how its done."

5) BUILD ON YOUR BRAND: He says he's constantly "re-setting goals-constantly evolving as a person," which has opened the door for bigger opportunities

6) SURROUND YOURSELF WITH THE RIGHT PEOPLE: "There's a saying my father always taught me," Harvey says. "He said, 'Boy, remember this: Everybody who comes with you can't go with you.' There are some people in your life for just a season; you can't be afraid to cut the ties. Some people go to a certain point, and after that you have to let them go or they'll mess up the rest of your ride."If you can find people who will put your interests right up there next to theirs, have the good sense to know that you're the horse that pulls the wagon and will even put your best interest in front of their own, that's the magical equation."

7) BE A RULE BREAKER: "Rules, are for the ordinary people who need guidelines and ways to justify their failures." Ignore the statistics and definitely toss out rules like, "Don't put all your eggs in one basket," and "Always have a Plan B," Which Harvey says only set you up for failure."

8) GIVEBACK: You can't just get your big house on the hill and don't show someone how to get one. The more He trusts you, the more He gives you. If you're selfish, you'll lose all of it."

READing Your Style: Dreams By Design by Valerie Burton

EBONY Magazine, May 2012

Reading the May 2012 issue of Ebony magazine, which was focused on sustaining a healthy body and a happy life, I came across a feature story by Valerie Burton, a successful and popular life-coach. Her two page spread in the magazine was chalked full of helpful advice to help readers set themselves in the right direction towards leading a more fulfilled life in our own skin. I thought this bit of advice below would be helpful for it sheds light on discovering what you really want in life, why we want those things, and how we can get them. I found that a lot of what I champion here on IMF.blog is in sync with her advice, for these were some perspectives I use to help develop my own style and discover where I want my life to go. In my fashion, how can one live for their style if they don't know what their style is, and what really brings them joy in this life? 

Six Clues to Discovering What You (Really) Want:

1)Twenty years from now, what will you regret not doing? You are more likely to regret the stuff you didn't do than the stuff you did. So take a bold step and go for it, whatever "it" is for you.

2)Give "someday" a deadline. Make a list of everything you said you'd do. Take out your calendar and decided when it's going to happen. Make it specific so you can be clear about what action steps you'll need to take.

3)What makes you feel a tad jealous? Emotions are teachers. You're envious of people who have things you want for yourself. For instance, if hearing that a co-worker went back to school, earned a degree and just got a promotion makes you feel a tinge of jealousy, that's a clue that maybe getting a degree should be on your dream list.

4)You are the same spirit you were as a child. Close your eyes and remember what got you excited when you were younger. Make a list and look for any themes; they might remind you of some forgotten pleasures. 

5)What caused you pain? Purpose and passion are often born out of pain. Use past challenges to discover opportunities to live out your life's purpose.

6)What brings you joy? Joy comes in the simple things, such as time with loved ones, engaging in a hobby or exploring your world. Small joys that are experienced daily can increase your happiness-starting today.